Math Jokes

After covering the best chemistry jokes. Now, it’s math jokes. Jokesful provides you the funniest bundle of math jokes on the Internet, these jokes are really hilarious, they are a mixture between cheesy and funny jokes. We agree that math jokes belong to scientific jokes but with these very ones, you can use them at university, library, as well as in ordinary circumstances.

Math Jokes

Math jokes

Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously .

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One: she gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that has already been solved.

Why was the math book sad?
Because, he had many problems!

A mathematician is asked to design a table. He first designs a table with no legs. Then he designs a table with infinitely many legs. He spend the rest of his life generalizing the results for the table with N legs (where N is not necessarily a natural number).

Several scientists were all posed the following question: “What is pi ?” 
The engineer said: “It is approximately 3 and 1/7” 
The physicist said: “It is 3.14159” 
The mathematician thought a bit, and replied “It is equal to pi”. 
(A nutritionist: “Pie is a healthy and delicious dessert!” )

An engineer, a physicist and a mathematician were asked to hammer a nail into a wall. 
The engineer went to build a Universal Automatic Nailer — a device able to hammer every possible nail into every possible wall. 
The physicist conducted series of experiments on strength of hammers, nails, and walls and developed a revolutionary technology of ultra-sonic nail hammering at super-low temperature. 
The mathematician generalized the problem to a N dimensional problem of penetration of a knotted one dimensional nail into a N-1 dimensional hyper-wall. Several fundamental theorems are proved. Of course, the problem is too rich to suggest a possibility of a simple solution, even the existence of a solution is far from obvious.

A mathematician, an engineer, and a chemist were walking down the road when they saw a pile of cans of beer. Unfortunately, they were the old-fashioned cans that do not have the tab at the top. One of them proposed that they split up and find can openers. The chemist went to his lab and concocted a magical chemical that dissolves the can top in an instant and evaporates the next instant so that the beer inside is not affected. The engineer went to his workshop and created a new HyperOpener that can open 25 cans per second.
They went back to the pile with their inventions and found the mathematician finishing the last can of beer. “How did you manage that?” they asked in astonishment. The mathematician answered, “Oh, well, I assumed they were open and went from there.”

Relations between pure and applied mathematicians are based on trust and understanding. Namely, pure mathematicians do not trust applied mathematicians, and applied mathematicians do not understand pure mathematicians.

Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they that they do not go to sleep during seminars.

Mathematicians have announced the existence of a new whole number which lies between 27 and 28. “We don’t know why it’s there or what it does,” says Cambridge mathematician, Dr. Hilliard Haliard, “we only know that it doesn’t behave properly when put into equations, and that it is divisible by six, though only once.”

Moebius strip no-wear belt drive! (Please see other side for warranty details.)

Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?
A: They required an orientation.

Q: What’s the contour integral around Western Europe?
A: Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe!

Q: What do you call a teapot of boiling water on top of mount everest?
A: A high-pot-in-use

Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
A: They already 8!

Q: Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
A: It was too cubed

Q: What did one Calculus book say to the other?
A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!

Q: Which triangles are the coldest?
A: Ice-sosceles triangles

Q: Who invented the Round Table?
A: Sir Cumference

Q: Why is Ms. Radian such a good reporter?
A: She covers the story from every angle

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!

Q: Why didn’t the chicken cross to the other side of the inequality?
A: It couldn’t get past the boundary line

Q: How can a fisherman determine how many fish he needs to catch to make a profit?
A: By using a cod-ratic inequality

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra

Q: What is the definition of a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation

Q: Why is the Rational Root Theorem so polite?
A: It minds its p’s and q’s

Q: What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
A: Hexagon

Q: Why did the boy eat his math homework?
A: Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

Q: Have you heard the latest statistics joke?
A: Probably

Q: How do you know that your dentist studied algebra?
A: She said all that candy gave me exponential decay

Q: What do you call more than one L?
A: A Parallel

Q: Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
A: Just cos

Q: What did the complementary angle say to the isosceles triangle?
A: Nice Legs

Q: What is polite and works for the phone company?
A: A deferential operator

Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber?
A: Nothing. You can’t cross a vector and a scalar.

Math and Alcohol don’t mix, so… PLEASE DON’T DRINK AND DERIVE
Motto of the society: Mathematicians Against Drunk Deriving

Two mathematicians are studying a convergent series. The first one says: “Do you realize that the series converges even when all the terms are made positive?” The second one asks: “Are you sure?” “Absolutely!”

“Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it.” “That’s easy: one, one, and twelve.” “But twelve isn’t odd!” “Twelve is an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…”

Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?
A: He works it out with a pencil

Q: What is the world’s longest song?
A: “Aleph-naught Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”

Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children?
A: “I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…”

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?
A: A large pizza can feed a family of four

Q: What polygon is also a card trick?
A: Decagon

Q: Why did the statistician drown while crossing a river?
A: It was 3 feet deep… on average

Q: What do you call it when a mathematician’s parrot hasn’t been fed?
A: Poly”no meal”

Q: How do you solve any equation?
A: Multiply both sides by zero.

Q: How does one insult a mathematician?
A: Tell them that their brain is smaller than any ε > 0

Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race?
A: I’m 2 Fast 4 U!

Math Jokes Video

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