Short Jokes

In this very thread about short jokes on Jokesful, you will get the best and biggest bundle about short jokes, conventionally, one liner jokes. At any rate, this post will provide you the best 40 short jokes on the entire Internet as well as other funny short jokes that are there as a bonus. Also, you will have a video at the end that is considered as the best Youtube video about short jokes. Enjoy these funny jokes and do not forget to share them with your friends.

Short Jokes

short jokes

1 . A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

2 . It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

3 . Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

4 . A soldier survived mustard gas in battle, and then pepper spray by the police. He’s now a seasoned veteran.

5 . What’s the best thing about Switzerland? I don’t know, but their flag is a huge plus.

6 . A Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand and says, “Make me one with everything.”

7 . I’m addicted to brake fluid, but I can stop whenever I want.

8 . What’s the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people

9 . Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered 6 offender.

10 . Two fish are sitting in a tank. One looks over at the other and says: “Hey, do you know how to drive this thing?”

11 . “This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING.”

12 . I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going to those places.

13 . Atheism is a non-prophet organization

14 . What do you call it when Batman skips church? Christian Bale.

15 . What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

16 . How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

17 . Two whales walk into a bar. The first one says, “Weeeeeooooouuuhhhh”. The next whale says, “Shut up, Steve. You’re drunk.”

18 . I hate Russian dolls…so full of themselves

19 . What’s E.T. short for? Because he’s only got little legs.

20 . “I stand corrected,” said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

21 . Wanna hear a joke about Potassium? (whether they say ‘yes’ or ‘no’): K.

22 . What’s the difference between a golfer and a skydiver? A golfer goes *whack* “damn” and a skydiver goes “damn” *whack*

23 . A baby seal walks into a club.

24 . My grandad has the heart of a lion and a life time ban from the San Diego Zoo.

25 . I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

26 . Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Pixar collection, except one. He’s never gonna give you Up.

27 . It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.

28 . I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn’t complain.

29 . There’s no “I” in Denial.

30 . Last night me and my girlfriend watched three DVDs back to back. Luckily I was the one facing the telly.

31 . Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

32 . They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now.

33 . I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

34 . Two penguins walk into a bar… which is stupid because the second one should have seen it.

35 . What do you call a magic dog? A Labracadabrador.

36 . I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets…. then it hit me.

37 . Have I told you this deja vu joke before?

38 . Where do you find a cow with no legs? Right where you left it.

39 . Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be…

40 . I didn’t know my dad was a construction site thief, but when I got home all the signs were there.

Short Jokes Bonus

I dreamt I was forced to eat a giant marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was gone.

Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.”

Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!”

Doctor: “Nine.”

A man asks a farmer near a field, “Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.”

The farmer says, “Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you’ll even catch the 4:11 one.”

Two Elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: “I really don’t get how he can feed himself with that thing!”

My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad, finally I had to take his bike away.

Oh darling, since you’ve started dieting, you’ve become such a passionate kisser…

What do you mean, passionate? I’m looking for food remains!

Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn’t in the bathroom.

Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”

“Darling, I’m sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”

Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?

Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?

Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.

What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?

He didn’t count with this…

Crowded elevators have a different smell to children and midgets.

How can you tell you have a really bad case of acne?

It’s when the blind try to read your face.

Q. What’s the worst thing about being lonely?

Playing Frisbee.

Me and my wife decided that we don’t want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.

Short Jokes Video

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